WTF!!! Nelly Arrested For Raping...
First name Tom, Last name Foolery... And I'm Everybody's Uncle!
Even this St. Lunatic... Nelly!
Early this morning a 21 year old blonde hair, blue-eyed babe stumbled into the Auburn Police Department & reported she'd been sexually assaulted by Mr. Country Grammar. According to the police report we were able to get our hands upon, Nelly invited Jane Doe back to his tour bus for casual conversation & concert memorabilia. Once upon the lavish tour bus, things took a drastic turn when Nelly intentionally increased the vehicles temperature & demanded Amazon Alexa to play track 3 from Nellyville, "Hot In Herre."
During this time, the sexual tension was unbearable for both parties. As stated in the affidavit, Jane Doe admitted to making advances towards Nelly, but maintained she only wanted to kiss his swollen, mushroom-shaped beefcake. After kissing the tip, at some point in time Jane Doe ended up getting donkey pumped in the mouth "Over & Over" again.
Although I'm not the best mathematician, I certainly know something is not adding up with her story.
Climb on The Family Tree below & share your thoughts about My Nephew Nelly's situation!